Just Me

So… I’ve been planning to start writing on this blog for years, however, I’m a lazy asshole. I decided today is as good as any to finally start putting some stuff out into the world. For starters I’m 24 and in an extremely pivotal time of my life. For instance: I just moved out of the state for the first time in my life, I just bought my first car on my own (2015 Toyota Tacoma), and I’m in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend of 2 years and some change. I’ve been living in Carson Valley now for a little over 4 months, while Steven (the boyfriend) is living in Fairfield and pursuing a law enforcement career in the bay area. It feels weird to be so far away from everything I’ve always known, but, I equally feel as if I’m more at home now.

Before the move I was working in the recovery industry being support staff at a detox. I didn’t realize how over it I was until I moved here and got a job as a server. I work in a casino restaurant that gets fairly good business (especially in the summer and on holidays). I love my job now and I’m happy I chose to go back to one of my old skills. The nature scene here is incredible! I wake up everyday and see the Sierras, it’s just a half hour drive to Tahoe, and we actually get snow. The people here actually strike up conversations opposed to awkwardly pretending they didn’t see you and quickly walking by. There’s rarely ever any traffic, and the sky doesn’t look like it’s slowly poisoning me. That being said there are in fact a few things I miss: Places that stay open late (especially food establishments), the food in general, and most obviously my friends and family. Luckily, I get to have my Mom and sister with me.

While I’ve been stressed out by all of the changes in my life and at times have questioned if I’m doing the right thing, I wouldn’t change anything. People constantly make excuses for not doing things, especially for not following their “dreams”. It’s like the Nike logo: Just fucking do it! Okay, so it doesn’t say fucking, however, it probably should, it’s a lot more motivating that way. Costs too much money, not enough time, not enough resources… these are all lies we tell ourselves (and others) in order to stay in our comfort zones. That way we can tell people, “I want to travel” or “I want to start a new career”, as if they’re somehow going to be impressed by our hopes and desires. I mean honestly, when was the last time you were utterly blown away that somebody wanted to do something but didn’t? The reality is that the majority of us are giant pussies.

I’m done being a giant pussy, and I’m done wondering what if. I’m just living my life and taking it as it comes. I’m not going to wait around for the “perfect time” or to feel “financially secure”. Go out there and live the life you actually want to live. Go out there and fail! Embrace all the good and bad but most of all don’t wonder what your life could be. Learn to constantly get out of your comfort zone no matter how small, and most of all just fucking do it.