So here is where I am. I feel like I need to catch up on posts. I need to write inspiration posts of beautiful pictures of houses, yards, and crafts. I need to post my favorite quotes and wonderful projects. However, here’s the deal, I’m so sad.

My heart is breaking. People are hating and hurting each other while those who would normally be able to protect, have to just stand there and be hurt, or allow others to hurt each other. I’ve watched so many videos of the Baltimore riots over the last week of people outright assaulting people while they just stand there and take the hits. I can’t get my mind around any of it.

I feel like we’ve become a nation where If you love God, people hate you. If you don’t believe in God, people hate you. If you’re white, you are racist. If you’re black you hate white people. If you’re any other race you feel ignored. (Seriously, I read a post about it.) If you’re straight you hate gays, and if you’re gay, no one will make a cake for your wedding! No matter what one says, someone somewhere will be offended. When did this all happen? What is this? It’s pulling me so down, it feels like I’m carrying every part of all of this pain. When did we become so divided? Assumptions are so incredibly rampant I can’t see straight. Our good people are being treated as criminals and our criminals are running wild. People are beating on innocent bystanders in the streets and the leaders are saying, “It’s fine.” I don’t remember a time in my life where so much crime has been allowed to run free. The part that is most disturbing me is that it is being so tolerated. My government cannot and will not keep me and my fellow Americans safe.

Sitting on Facebook is killing me, watching the news is killing me. My heart is steadily becoming heavy with sadness and worry for our country, my children’s futures, and for the rest of our world. Horrific things are happening all over the world, and I feel like the few, the strong and the able are just standing by watching. I feel torn and pulled to act, to speak out, to scream! Yet, all I hear in my head are the lyrics from Garth Brooks’s song The Change: “It’s like whispering a prayer in the fury of a storm.” and, “It’s like trying to stop a fire with the moisture from a kiss…”

When we demand justice from people we live in a place of strife. I’ve been so angry about all of these things that are happening all around us that I’ve been living in a place of strife. It’s a very heavy place to be. In turn, it’s been very hard for me to post pretty pictures of curtains, or flowers, or crafting projects. It has felt so trivial and ridiculous. I feel silly dreaming of our future because of where the world is right now. Earlier this week I was talking to Steve about it, and I just couldn’t help but cry. He reminded me that we have to live in the moment. We have to hold on to the good things in our lives and focus on these things. It’s so important to be informed of what is happening around us but we can’t stop these things. We need to let them go.

I need to let them go.

I feel broken about people not loving each other beyond their color, beliefs, fears, and pain. We are all in this together and like my dad says, “None of us are getting out alive.” Life is so incredibly temporary. We need to be compassionate and treat each other the way we want to be treated. It’s that simple, I learned this when I was 4 years old and have always believed it. It works.

Bad things are going to happen. Pain will occur. People will always hate. This is part of living in a broken world. But there will also be love, compassion, and forgiveness. We need to decide in which of these things we’re going to live. The choice belongs to us. I’ve been holding onto this scripture, literally, holding onto it written on a 3×5 card.

Philippians 4:8 – Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praise-worthy- think about such things.

I am choosing to think about such things. And like Garth’s song says, “It’s not the world that I am changing, I do this so the world will know that it will not change me.”

Take heart, love, and be steadfast.