Hanging Around In-Between

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From the Heart

Do you ever have days where no matter what you do you just can’t get out of that funk? I’m not talkin’ disco funk folks, I’m talkin’ rut funk. Not sad, not happy… Wow, that totally reminded me of a line from the movie The Beach. Leonardo DiCaprio’s character is referring to one of the paradise-beach residents who got bit by a shark. He says,”You see, in a shark attack, or any other major tragedy, I guess the important thing is to get eaten and die, in which case there’s a funeral and somebody makes a speech and everybody says what a good guy you were. Or get better, in which case everyone can forget about it. Get better or die. It’s the hanging around in between that really pisses people off.”

I’m just hanging around in-between right now. My husband and I use this line all the time. It’s weird but our life together has consisted of a lot of hanging around in-between things. We do a lot of waiting things out. It sucks but we have actually become pretty good at it. It’s the kind of stuff that resembles grief. One day at a time stuff that you make it through each moment. We have really made it through some really long and hard moments.

I think this is why I’m mad at myself right now. I’m feeling sorry for myself, and this is NOT a really hard moment. It’s just life.

It’s a slow part of life, and I have no solid goal I’m working towards. If you know me, you know that’s a dangerous place for me to be. When I start feeling like I have no purpose I’m not a happy girl. That’s where I am right now. However, I do know it’s only temporary. I know it, because after a few weeks of feeling like this I always find something to do. I’m sort of a project hunter. My husband would probably call it a trouble hunter. I’m horrible at relaxing. I hate it, and it makes me uncomfortable. When people tell me to do it, it feel like someone is telling me to eat liver, because it’s good for me. Some people LOVE liver. Personally, I hate it, so stop trying to get me to eat it. I’m digressing, but I think you know what I mean.

So, I’m ridding it out. I’ll follow through with my responsibilities today, but this weekend is going to belong to me. I’m going to explore my house, and closets, and craft boxes. I’m going project hunting (sorry babe). I’ll keep you posted on what I decide to do.

So tell me, do you get into ruts! Do you have someone you text or call that pulls you out of? How do you manage to get yourself out of the funk and back into the game? P.S. What are you doing this weekend?

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Just a girl, on a journey. Thankful for love, thankful for friends and family, and thankful for forgiveness. Full of passion, conviction and hope.

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